Exploring the Meaning of the Phrase ‘Let Them’

Let Them is a concept that encourages individuals to desist from controlling others’ actions and instead, embrace their own actions and responses. This mindset is attributed to Mel Robbins, an influential podcast host, author, and motivational speaker.

Understanding the ‘Let Them’ Mindset

In essence, “Let Them” refers to the idea of allowing others to act or behave as they please, without those actions affecting our emotional wellbeing. This mindset emphasizes that we shouldn’t take others’ actions personally, but let them reveal their true selves. By adopting this approach, we gain insights into individual behaviors and patterns, empowering us to make informed decisions for our own lives.

Here are some key points to grasp:

  • The mantra encourages us to avoid exerting energy trying to control others, focusing instead on our own actions and responses.
  • It discourages us from harboring resentment or anxiety over situations or outcomes we cannot control, promoting a healthier mental state.
  • “Let them” theory empowers us to perceive individuals as they truly are, based on their decisions and actions.
raised hands

Applying the ‘Let Them’ Mindset

While it can be challenging to detach emotionally, particularly in instances of heartache, mistreatment or neglect; the ‘Let Them’ theory promotes detachment as a useful tool for personal peace and acceptance. It encourages acknowledging each emotion without letting it dominate us or our reactions.

However, remember these points if you choose to apply this mindset:

  • It’s okay to feel your feelings. Let yourself feel upset, but understand that those feelings are valid and not a result of your own actions or behaviours.
  • Need for boundaries. Don’t ‘let them’ when the behavior is abusive, disrespectful, or harmful. It’s critical to establish and communicate boundaries to protect yourself.
  • Safe interventions are necessary. In situations where someone you care for is about to engage in dangerous activities, it’s vital to intervene.


The ‘Let Them’ theory offers a powerful way to navigate our interpersonal relationships and maintain better emotional health. Implementing this mindset can help us gain insights into our relationships and pinpoint areas where we might be exerting unnecessary control. Ultimately, the goal is to develop a strong sense of self, unswayed by others’ actions or behaviors, leading to a more balanced emotional state.

Leave a Comment